Itchy feet

This is something that I deal with every few years, and many of my school friends feel the same. Its that need to move. A restlessness that is impossible to shift. Everything around me becomes mundane, and I can’t stop thinking about places I would like to go.

I have been where I currently live for nearly 8 years now, and have fended off this restlessness by moving regularly, changing jobs and making sure I leave the country once a year to get the travel bug out of my system. But these last few years, the annual trip has become an opportunity to explore other countries I could live in, find out about places I could work, and has just fueled the need to move on.

As a queer person though adds difficulty to the choice. Being gay is illegal in many countries, and only a handful of places are vaguely okay on the whole trans and non-binary thing. Do I want to live somewhere I would not be able to be myself, where I would have to hide? I have lived such a privileged life, never really having to hide anything, so this would be a huge change. Weighing up the pros and cons I would have to decide if it is worth it. Experiencing new places and cultures, and exploring new fields of work. it would not just be a CV building excersise, but rather an opportunity to enrich my life, which I miss and crave.

I recognise the privilege in my position – being able to chose where and when I immigrate, and on top of that having the choice of where I go. Many TCKs end up going back home, where ever that may be, and being forced to deal with the current laws, societal attitudes and all that entails.  They may have the choice to leave, though many do not.

Whatever I decide, it is a risk. A risk I will have to censor myself. A risk I stay here stuck in a rut. A risk I don’t take control of my own life. But each risk has its payoffs, and I need to decide which I want to go for.

S

 

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